What Works (And What Doesn't) When Someone You Love Drinks Too Much

Stop the cycle of denial, meek discussions, and failed ultimatums. Here's what actually helps when dealing with addiction in the family.

What Doesn't Work:

• Hiding alcohol
• Making excuses for them
• Giving ultimatums you don't keep
• Threatening to leave (repeatedly)
• Pleading and begging
• Trying to control their drinking
• Enabling their behavior
• Ignoring the problem

What Does Work:

1. Stop Enabling

• Don't make excuses for their behavior
• Don't clean up their messes
• Don't give them money
• Don't lie to cover for them

2. Set Boundaries

• Be clear about what you will and won't tolerate
• Follow through on consequences
• Don't negotiate when they're intoxicated
• Protect yourself and your children

3. Get Support

• Al-Anon meetings
• Family therapy
• Individual counseling
• Support groups

4. Take Care of Yourself

• Don't lose yourself in their addiction
• Maintain your own interests and relationships
• Practice self-care
• Consider your own therapy

5. Be Prepared for Treatment

• Research treatment options
• Have resources ready
• Know what insurance covers
• Be ready to act when they're ready

The Three C's of Al-Anon:

• You didn't Cause it
• You can't Control it
• You can't Cure it

When to Consider Intervention

If nothing else has worked and the situation is getting worse, a professional intervention may be the next step.

You can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved, but you can save yourself.