The Original Police Guide
In 1959, police departments across America distributed a tongue-in-cheek guide to "raising a juvenile delinquent." Written as satire, it was meant to show parents what NOT to do. Sixty-five years later, it reads like a parenting manual for modern affluent families.
The 1959 Guide: "How to Raise a Juvenile Delinquent"
Give your child everything they want from infancy:
•Never let them wait for anything
•Anticipate their needs before they express them
•Make sure they never experience disappointment
•Buy them whatever their friends have
Never tell them "no":
•Avoid any conflict or tantrums
•Change rules when they complain
•Let them negotiate everything
•Always find exceptions to your own rules
Always take their side:
•Blame teachers when they get in trouble
•Argue with coaches about playing time
•Assume they're telling the truth about conflicts
•Make excuses for their poor choices
Give them money without responsibility:
•Provide allowances without chores
•Increase money when they ask
•Pay for mistakes and poor decisions
•Never let them experience financial consequences
Protect them from all difficulties:
•Call the school to fix their problems
•Do their homework when they struggle
•Make excuses for their failures
•Solve all their social conflicts
How Modern Parenting Matches the Guide
Helicopter Parenting:
•Hovering over every activity
•Preventing natural consequences
•Fighting their battles for them
•Creating learned helplessness
Participation Trophy Culture:
•Everyone gets a prize
•No one experiences failure
•Effort matters more than results
•Self-esteem over genuine achievement
Technology Enablement:
•Instant gratification through devices
•No boredom tolerance
•Entertainment on demand
•No waiting or delayed gratification
Affluent Anxiety:
•Overscheduling to prevent problems
•Buying solutions instead of teaching skills
•Fear-based decision making
•Treating children like fragile projects
What the Guide Got Right
The Psychology of Entitlement:
•Children who never hear "no" can't handle rejection
•Instant gratification creates addiction-like patterns
•Protection from consequences prevents learning
•Fighting their battles creates helplessness
The Development Problem:
•Resilience comes from overcoming difficulties
•Self-esteem comes from genuine achievement
•Responsibility develops through practice
•Independence requires graduated freedom
The Long-term Consequences:
•Inability to handle disappointment
•Poor work ethic and follow-through
•Difficulty with authority and rules
•Relationship problems due to selfishness
Modern Examples of "Delinquent Raising"
Academic:
•Parents doing school projects
•Arguing with teachers about grades
•Hiring tutors instead of teaching study skills
•Blaming others for poor performance
Social:
•Arranging all friendships and activities
•Solving peer conflicts for them
•Making excuses for social mistakes
•Preventing natural social consequences
Financial:
•Credit cards without spending limits
•Bailing them out of financial mistakes
•No connection between work and money
•Luxury items as basic necessities
Legal:
•Hiring lawyers for minor infractions
•Making excuses for rule-breaking
•Blaming the system for consequences
•Teaching them rules don't apply to them
The Alternative: Raising Responsible Adults
Set Clear Boundaries:
•Mean what you say
•Follow through consistently
•Don't negotiate non-negotiables
•Let natural consequences happen
Teach Life Skills:
•Age-appropriate responsibilities
•Money management and work ethic
•Problem-solving skills
•Emotional regulation
Allow Struggle and Failure:
•Let them experience disappointment
•Support without rescuing
•Help them learn from mistakes
•Build resilience through challenges
Model Healthy Behavior:
•Show how to handle conflict
•Demonstrate work ethic
•Practice what you preach
•Admit your own mistakes
The Real Juvenile Delinquents
The 1959 guide was about street kids stealing cars. Today's version is affluent young adults who:
•Can't hold jobs or maintain relationships
•Expect others to solve their problems
•Have no frustration tolerance
•Believe rules don't apply to them
They're not criminals. They're worse: they're helpless.
Age-Appropriate Challenges
Toddlers (2-4):
•Wait for things they want
•Help with simple chores
•Hear "no" and accept it
•Experience natural consequences
School Age (5-12):
•Complete homework independently
•Handle social conflicts with guidance
•Earn money through chores
•Face academic and social challenges
Teenagers (13-18):
•Get jobs and manage money
•Handle relationship drama alone
•Face legal consequences for choices
•Learn to advocate for themselves
Young Adults (18+):
•Support themselves financially
•Handle all their own problems
•Accept responsibility for mistakes
•Function as independent adults
The Hard Truth
Every problem you solve for them is a skill they don't develop. Every consequence you prevent is a lesson they don't learn. Every battle you fight for them is strength they don't build.
The goal isn't to make their childhood easy. It's to make their adulthood possible.